Be Careful What You Wish For

a dandelion with drops of water on it.

I recently visited a primary school and noticed an array of student assignments lining the school’s main hallway. Attracted by the bright colors and creative handwriting, I decided to take a closer look. What I saw was a collection of students’ answers to the question: What do you want to be when you grow up? I smiled as I read some of the kids’ responses—predictable ones, like doctor and astronaut, along with some surprises, like aeronautical engineer and toothpaste inventor. As much as I enjoyed seeing the fun stuff these kids came up with, I couldn’t help but feel a bit troubled by the whole thing. Of course, getting kids to think about what they want to be sparks creativity and imagination. It plants seeds of inspiration, inviting them to think about the future and consider what’s possible. But as a therapist who’s spent a lot of time working with disillusioned, distressed, and disappointed adults, I can’t help but see the other side of this well-intentioned thought exercise: It sets the tone for a life spent wishing and wanting.

Now, before you deem me cynical and stop reading, hear me out. As I mentioned before, I appreciate the value in thinking about what we want for the future. If we don’t give it any thought whatsoever, we end up aimless, with no clear direction for our lives. But at a certain point, the act of wanting can become damaging. Research in the field of Positive Psychology has demonstrated that the more we want, the more dissatisfied and unhappy we tend to be. And we don’t really need a bunch of fancy studies to tell us this is the case. If you’ve ever invested time or energy into wanting a bigger house, a better job, or a more compassionate spouse, you’ve felt the sting of not having those things now. Thinking about what we want naturally invites thoughts about what’s lacking—and this, of course, is an obvious downer. Furthermore, since wishing and wanting tend to be future-focused, they pull us out of the present moment, robbing us of our ability to be satisfied with what is. If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts, you already know how vital present-moment awareness and satisfaction are to our overall wellbeing; so while wanting is natural and somewhat necessary for our lives, we have to be aware of this particular pitfall.

Another issue that occurs when we focus on what we want is that we fail to consider the many implications associated with getting it. The expression Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it applies perfectly here. There’s a reason many lottery winners wind up depressed, broke, or suicidal. We might have a clear idea of what we want, but if we don’t consider how our lives will change when we get it, we could end up less happy than when we started. I once worked with a client who spent most of her professional life focused on retirement. She wanted to get there so badly, for so long, that it shaped her life and influenced many of her choices. When we started working together, it had been eight months since she retired, and she was completely miserable. She explained to me that in all the years of rushing toward retirement, she never considered what her life would be like once she got there. With tears flowing, she said this about her experience: “It never occurred to me that once I got to this point in my life, my parents would be dead, I’d be too tired to do the traveling I’d put off until now, and I wouldn’t have any hobbies to keep my busy mind quiet. This is nothing at all like I thought it would be.” We can learn a great deal from the examples of people like my client, who suffer as a result of getting what they once wanted. If we aren’t careful, getting what we want could be a recipe for disaster.

Above all else, the biggest reason to be mindful of what we wish for is that we’re prone to believe we’ll be happier once we acquire what we desire. Social science research has proven that thinking this way is a setup, because the more we get, the more we want. We believe that getting what we wish for will be the answer to all of our problems, granting us lifelong joy and satisfaction. But happiness happens to be an inside job; without knowing how to cultivate it internally for ourselves, no amount of money or external rewards will allow us to experience or maintain it. Considering this and the other points of caution I mentioned earlier, it’s easy to wonder whether wishing and wanting is worth the risk. But let me assure you, there’s some good news here for those willing to take heed.

Despite the potential dangers associated with wanting, there is a way to utilize it in order to enrich our lives without suffering from all the unintended, messy side effects. First, and most importantly, we have to be clear that getting what we want is not a guaranteed solution to our problems. We aren’t going to reach some utopian state of bliss once our desires manifest; life just simply doesn’t work that way. Optimal wanting starts with generating this important awareness. If happiness is what we’re after—and most of the time, it is—we’re wise to focus on how we can cultivate it right here and now, before we’ve bought the yacht, backpacked through Europe, or married our one true love. Life is always happening in the present moment, so it’s important for us to realize that while we wish, want, dream, and fantasize, our real lives are taking place. For me, there’s nothing more terrifying than the prospect of reaching the end of my life and realizing I missed out on all of it, because I was too busy thinking about what I wanted instead of appreciating what I had. Don’t let this happen to you. Set goals for your life and, by all means, get intentional about going after them. But know that everything you hope to feel when you get what you wish for is available to you right here, right now.

The Making of a Mind Master

a silhouette of a bird flying over a palm tree.

In his bestselling book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, author Robin Sharma wisely states: “The mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.” The simple wisdom of these words speaks to the heart of the human experience, for to be human is to be in constant thought. It is to live inside an endless loop of inner chitter chatter about everything that is, was, and ever could be. Without the light of our awareness and the spirit of our conscious intention, we are bound to be the servants of our minds. And most of us know what it feels like to live this way, at the mercy of our own thoughts, consumed by the contents of our minds. But through subtle shifts in attention and the implementation of simple practices, we can enter a new relationship with our minds, becoming their masters and wielding their greatest potential.

Our minds are remarkably powerful, and they’re particularly good at three specific things: storytelling, meaning making, and time traveling. As a therapist and coach, I know all too well how heavily these functions of mind can impact people’s lives. When the mind is the master, the stories it tells, the meanings it makes, and the places it goes can create tremendous suffering. But I also know that while these activities of the mind can be enslaving, they can also serve as the doorways for liberation; they present an opportunity to become the mind’s master.

As storytelling machines, our minds run an ongoing narrative of everything that happens in our lives. The stories they tell us are captivating and distracting, holding our attention and heavily influencing our experience. Our minds can keep us from connecting with the present moment, because instead of attending to what’s happening in that moment, we’re caught up in the stories they tell us—either about what’s happening, or about something else altogether. It’s easy to feel disconnected when the mind is in control; while life unfolds right in front of us, our stories keep us trapped and unable to make contact.

To move from servitude to mastery, we must heighten our awareness of the mind’s propensity for storytelling. Through the development of practices like mindfulness and meditation, we can learn to notice when the stories in our minds are pulling us away from the present moment. The quicker we notice, the quicker and more effectively we can bring our attention back to our experience in the here-and-now. Becoming the master in this way means being more grounded, connected, and present to life.

Our minds are not only great at storytelling, they’re also pretty magnificent meaning-making machines. They interpret everything, filtering information through our personal biases and beliefs, and influencing how we make sense of the world. When we are servants to our minds, the meanings they make can blind and constrict us, keeping us stuck and limiting our perspective. We hold these interpretations—the meaning our minds generate about our experiences—as truths, and we get completely caught up in them. A great example of how this operates is a former client of mine, who came to me after suffering for 30 years from a sense of unworthiness. He shared with me that when he was in the 3rd grade, a couple of boys in his class teased him about his haircut, and a few other kids within earshot laughed along with them. The meaning my client made of that experience was that he was an “unlovable reject,” and he carried that with him throughout the rest of his life, until the point that we met. This example is as common as it is painful; we all know what it’s like to believe what our minds make up about some event or experience, and we know how limiting and damaging that can be.

The shift from servitude to mastery with respect to meaning-making comes with identifying our core beliefs and recognizing the things our minds make up about what we encounter in life. Therapy and coaching are particularly effective ways to develop mind mastery in this area. The more aware we are of the interpretations our minds create—and, most importantly, the ways in which those interpretations affect us—the more we can distinguish the facts from the interpretations, and the less we suffer.

As I mentioned before, our minds are highly sophisticated time-travel machines. At any given moment, we can travel to the near or distant past, the anticipated or imagined future. And while this is, no doubt, a pretty cool thing, it can also get pretty ugly. Because the reality is, our minds let us travel to the past and future, but we have absolutely no control over either one of them. The past is gone, and the future hasn’t happened yet, so dwelling in either one can be an exercise in suffering. When the mind is the master, its time-traveling adventures can cause depression, by dwelling on what’s already happened, and anxiety, by agonizing about what could happen. And that’s not to mention the ways in which all that time-hopping robs us of our ability to be in the present, where life is happening. Many of my clients speak to me about how terrible it can feel when their minds take control and zap them back into an ugly past or zoom them forward into an uncertain future. There’s a reason the Buddha taught so much about being in the present moment; he was wise to the reality that the mind likes to travel, and when it takes us with it, we’re liable to suffer.

To become a master of the mind’s time-traveling nature is to acknowledge that there are some undeniable upsides to this capability. The past is full of rich material; it contains our memories, the lessons we’ve learned, and valuable information that can guide us through life. Thinking about the future can also be advantageous, as we can plan, get excited about upcoming events, and anticipate things on the horizon in order to prepare for them effectively. When we learn how to travel to the past and future with intention and be in the driver’s seat for the voyage, we can use this function of our minds to its greatest capacity and avoiding unnecessary suffering.

The human mind is magnificent. As John Milton so aptly put it, it can “make a heaven of hell, a heal of heaven.” To master the mind is to master life, so why not start moving toward mastery right here and now? As always, I wish you peace and love and am here to keep you company on your journey however it supports you.

Ready to Take Your Life to the Next Level? Start Here

a snow globe sitting on top of a pile of snow.

My name is Dr. Denise Fournier, and I’m addicted to personal growth and transformation.

If you haven’t noticed, I live for the stuff. There’s just something about watching people go through the process of discovering and achieving their potential that gives me boundless joy. It is, without question, the greatest source of fulfillment and inspiration in my life. Many years ago, before deciding to become a therapist, I took on the project of connecting intimately with myself and discovering what was possible for me. I made personal development and self-mastery a priority, and it’s made all the difference in my life. Having the opportunity to share that with other people through the work I do as a therapist and coach is an invaluable gift—one that I’ll be dedicated to for as long as I live.

Through the work I’ve done on myself and with my clients, I’ve come to identify a few factors that I believe to be essential for personal transformation and goal attainment.

  1. Start at The End. Whenever I meet a new coaching or therapy client, I almost always start with a conversation about our final session together. That’s because I believe strongly in starting a journey with the destination in mind. Like I say to my clients, personal development is similar to traveling: you’ve got to know where you’re going before you can take any action to get there. If you haven’t decided on a destination for your trip, you won’t know which flight to book or what to pack in your suitcase. Similarly, you won’t know what to do along your journey of personal development if you haven’t clearly defined your goals. Everyone defines their best, most successful life differently. Before you start plotting the course to yours, give some thought to where you’re going and what it will look like when you get there.
  1. Establish Your Future Vision, But Be Here Now. Once you’ve created the vision for your best life, you’ll do well to shift your view from the future to the present. I’ve seen many clients get so attached to their goals and outcomes that they lose sight of what they’re doing in the moment. This causes them to get frustrated, impatient, distracted, and disconnected. The future—like the past—is a great place to visit, but it won’t serve you to live there. Once you set your goals and design the life you envision for your future, come back to the now, where life is happening, and be present to your experience in the moment. The more connected you are to your life as it’s happening, the more command you’ll have over your process, and the closer you’ll be to creating the life of your dreams.
  1. Assemble Your Audience of Accountability. You are worthy and capable of great things, and the possibilities for your best life are endless. But no matter who you are or what you’re working with, you won’t get nearly as far alone as you will with the support of others. When asked about the keys to their success, most accomplished individuals will say that they have people in their lives whom they can count on to hold them accountable and support them every step of the way. I call these people the audience of accountability. They’re the ones who will always tell you the truth. They’ll push you to be your best and won’t let you sell out or play small. If you’re up to big things in your life, make sure to surround yourself with trusted people who know about your goals and are invested in helping you achieve them. By creating your audience of accountability, you can be sure that you’ll be reminded of your commitments and held to them, which goes a long way on those days when you’re feeling less than motivated.
  1. Let Your Commitments, Not Your Emotions, Drive You. It isn’t always easy to achieve and maintain success, and setbacks are part of the process. But there’s no doubt about it: If you commit yourself to success, it will happen. You just have to remember to stay the course no matter what arises. This is especially true when it comes to your own emotions. Sometimes the journey of personal transformation will be challenging, and some days you just won’t feel up to it. On those days, it’s important that you honor your emotions, allowing yourself to feel them without being driven by them. If you make your commitments your guiding force, you’ll be able to stay focused on your goals no matter what emotions come up for you along the way.
  1. Feel Fear, But Do It Anyway. If you’re really stretching and challenging yourself in your personal growth process, there’s one emotion you’re almost guaranteed to feel: fear. When you’re doing something you’ve never done before, it’s only natural to experience some degree of it. But it’s important to recognize that fear isn’t a barrier; it’s an indicator that you’re up to something new and different. The only way to avoid fear is to stay cocooned in your comfort zone—and I promise you, no growth will happen there. One of the biggest differences between the people who achieve their goals in life and the people who don’t is that the former feel fear and take the next step anyway, while the latter back down and avoid it at all costs. If you really want to take your life to the next level, practice making fear your friend; because the truth is, as long as you’re committed to transforming yourself, you can count on it coming around.
  1. Understand That You Can’t Fail. How free would you feel if you knew that no matter what you tried, you couldn’t fail? Well, I’m happy to tell you that this is, in fact, the case. You see, success and failure are subjective interpretations that we make up to define our results. So failure is only failure if you define it that way. Sure, you won’t get the results you want 100% of the time, but that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Whenever you make an attempt at changing or accomplishing something, pay close attention to the result. If it doesn’t go the way you wanted it to, resist your temptation to tell yourself the failure story. Instead, recognize that you’re being presented with a priceless opportunity to gather information that will support your next attempts. What we’re quick to define as failure can be the biggest contributor to our success. If you’re willing to learn from your results and recognize that it’s impossible to fail, you can be free to try anything and break down any barriers in your way.

 I hope these tips inspire you to take your life to the next level. What’s the first step you’ll take, and where are you headed?

 

 

If It Isn’t Yours, Don’t Take It

a purple flower with rain falling down on it.

You know that person at the office who’s always sick with whatever bug is going around and chooses to go to work anyway? No matter how hard you try to avoid making contact, you somehow always end up catching whatever he or she’s got. It’s unnerving, uncomfortable, and seemingly unavoidable. Unpleasant though it may be, it’s the nature of office culture and contagious illness: if someone catches something, everyone else is likely to catch it also.

But the common cold isn’t the only thing that gets spread this way. Emotions, moods, and attitudes are just as contagious. Whether it’s a negative person in the workplace or a family member who’s perpetually on edge, there’s always going to be someone whose energy can contaminate you—that is, until you learn to immunize yourself from it.

Years ago, one of my mentors shared something with me that forever changed the way I conduct therapy and relate to other people in my life. We were having a discussion about one of my clients and the particularly challenging family issue she was working through in our sessions together. Week after week, this client arrived to our sessions distraught, anxious, and desperate for things to be different. The 60 minutes we’d spend together every week—during which she’d spend most of the time complaining, and I’d spend most of the time shrinking into my chair—felt like torture for me; by the time each session ended, I’d be worked up and bent out of shape. Noticing this, my mentor said the following to me: “If you absorb the emotional energy she’s emitting, you’ll be in no position to support her. You have to keep your emotional and energetic space clear if you’re going to have a shot at helping her clear hers.” “That makes sense,” I told him. But how do I do that?” “It’s simple,” he answered. “Whenever you’re in her presence—or in the presence of anyone whose emotions are affecting you—ask yourself this question: Whose emotion is this?” Time stopped the moment I heard those words. The question struck me as so powerful, so profound in its simplicity, that I had to pause for a moment and center myself. What this question has yielded for me and the clients I’ve shared it with over the years has made all the difference in the world.

You see, human beings are wired for connection, and certain cells in our brains—known as mirror neurons—cause us to automatically react to other people’s emotions. It’s the reason we instinctively cringe when we see someone get injured; it’s why we cry when the protagonist in a film experiences something painful. We can’t help but be affected by each other; we’re contagious in this way. So it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish other people’s emotions from our own. But, thankfully, we have the ability to choose how much we want to be affected by the emotions we come in contact with in the course of our relationships with others. The more skillfully we can do this, the less susceptible we are to getting weighed down by other people’s emotional baggage.

Here are some tips for developing that skill:

  1. Practice mindfulness. The more grounded and centered you are in your own experience, the easier it will be for you to distinguish your emotions from those of other people. Practice checking in with yourself on a regular basis, noticing what you’re thinking, feeling, observing, and experiencing in the moment. The more familiar you get with what’s going on inside you, the more quickly you’ll notice when you’ve absorbed someone else’s stuff.
  1. Set clear boundaries. It’s possible to have empathy for people without burdening yourself with their emotions. This requires setting firm boundaries and maintaining a clear sense of where others end and you begin. Sometimes, of course, that’s much easier said than done. No doubt, some people will challenge your ability to keep your emotional space clear, but it’s your responsibility to keep the boundaries in place. If you notice yourself getting worked up on a phone call with a perpetually pissed off relative, it’s okay to lovingly end the call. If the coworker you have lunch with always spends the time complaining, and you find yourself returning to the office in a bad mood, it’s okay to tell her you won’t be joining her for a few days. Caring about others and being supportive doesn’t require you to take on their emotions. The clearer your boundaries are, the clearer that distinction will be.
  1. Practice the catch and release method. Sometimes it’s impossible to avoid catching emotions that didn’t originate from you. But the quicker you notice that it’s happened, the quicker you can do something about it. Whenever you see that you’ve been affected by another person’s energy/mood/vibe, inhale deeply, say to yourself, “I’ve picked up something that doesn’t belong to me,” and on the exhale, focus your attention on releasing it. The more regularly you do this, the better you’ll become at it. Before you know it, you’ll be letting other people’s emotional energy pass right through you without it getting stuck, and you’ll be in a much better position to stay in connection with them without being negatively affected.
  1. Make your emotional health a priority. When you commit to being emotionally well, you build your immunity from other people’s emotional junk. So make your wellbeing a priority. Take care of yourself, manage your stress level, keep company with people who make you feel good. The healthier you are, emotionally speaking, the less likely you’ll be to absorb other people’s emotions.

Vitamin C, rest, physical exercise, and a healthy diet will help you maintain your body’s immune system. To keep your emotional immune system healthy, mindfulness, self-care, and clear boundaries will do the trick. The next time you notice yourself picking up someone else’s emotional baggage, ask yourself “Whose emotion is this?” If the answer isn’t “Mine,” gently set it down. Because if it isn’t yours, why would you take it?

The Power of Now: Learning to Live Like You’re Dying

a person's hand reaching out towards the water.

A few nights ago I had a heart opening phone conversation with a dear friend as he spent time with his family following the death of his beloved grandmother. We spoke about death, grief, and the meaning of life. We connected and reflected, each of us sharing openly and vulnerably about our understanding of death and the meaning we make of it. At one point in the conversation, my friend asked me, “If you could find out the day you’re going to die, would you want to know?” Instinctively, I answered, “No way.” When I posed the same question to him, however, he quickly answered, “Absolutely.”  The conversation that followed made a big impact on me and inspired me to write this post.

Although my friend and I didn’t share the same view about being told when we’ll die, we did agree about something: We have a serious case of death denial. Most of us—unless we have a terminal illness and know that death is imminent—go through life without giving much thought to our mortality. And though that certainly keeps us from having to dwell in morbid territory, it also has potential to keep us from living as fully as we could be.

When you get down to it, the truth is that life is always now. What I mean is that the past is gone and the future hasn’t happened yet, so the present moment is the only place we can ever be. It’s the only time that matters. When we we take the present moment for granted, assuming there’s always tomorrow, we miss out on opportunities to live fully and freely.

The reason my friend would want to know when he’s going to die is that he believes it would help remind him to make the most of life. He put it to me this way: “You know, we say we’re afraid of death; but what we really seem to be afraid of is life!” He went on to explain that perhaps knowing how much time he had left would be an antidote to fear and an encouragement to just go for it, whatever it is, because life is short and time is precious. This was a perspective I hadn’t previously considered.

When I work with clients in therapy or coaching, I’m committed to helping them access their potential and use their inherent resources and strengths to resolve whatever challenges they’re encountering. My clients often share with me that the more they get in touch with their potential and purpose, the richer their lives become. They experience more clarity, more appreciation for their lives, and a deeper understanding of what’s important to them. Essentially, our work together supports them in breaking through everything keeping them from living life to the fullest. So when my friend said what he did about using awareness of death as a means of enriching life, I understood perfectly what he was saying—and I had to agree.

Most of us won’t find out in advance exactly when we’re going to die, but that doesn’t mean we can’t live with urgency, passion, commitment, and presence. If we abandon our death denial and choose, instead, to stay fully aware of the brevity of life, we create the potential to make each moment count. Because our time here is short, tomorrow’s never promised, and life is always NOW.

So what would happen if you replaced your death denial with death awareness? What would it inspire you to do that you haven’t been doing? What would it free you up to experience or express?

We don’t like to think about it, but it’s important that we face it: We’re all dying. Every last one of us. And we don’t know when our time will run out. Instead of resisting this realization, I say we embrace it. Because life gets much more meaningful, much more beautiful when we remember that it won’t last forever.  So today and every day, I invite you to seize the power of the present moment and live like you know you’re dying. Treat each moment as a gift, and laugh in the face of fear. All we’ve got is the dash between our date of birth and date of death; let’s make it count.

 

“So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.”

– Linda Ellis, The Dash

2017: The Year of the Level-Up

a sparkler that is sitting on a table.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thrilled to be at the start of a brand new year. Say what you will about 2016—and yes, I know there’s a lot to say about it—but there’s a great deal we can all take from it. Because no matter what kind of year you had personally or what kind of year it was in more general terms, there’s wisdom to be drawn from it. All of it—the good, the bad, and the downright horrific—can be a valuable teacher. It can offer great insight and clarity to support your journey in the year ahead of you, serving as the launching pad for new discoveries and breakthroughs. But in order to infuse your future endeavors with the wisdom of your past, you must be willing to take a brief but deliberate glance in the rearview mirror.

As the title of this post indicates, 2017 holds the promise of being a year to level up. It offers us all a chance to take our lives to the next level, using everything last year taught us as our springboard. So take this moment to reflect on your 2016 and see what stands out for you. What were the major events that most impacted you? What experiences challenged you most? What relationships were most significant for you, and how would you rate the quality of those relationships? What were your triumphs? What fears did you overcome? What held you back? What, if any, resolutions did you begin the year with, and how did you fare with accomplishing them?

With the information about your last year to support you, it’s time to set intentions for what’s to come. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you set your level-up in motion:

  • Put your intentions in writing. Whether you’re creating specific resolutions or want to start your year with a more general sense of the possibilities you’ll create, it’s a good idea to put it all in writing. When we put our thoughts down on paper, we solidify them and make them more meaningful and useful. So by writing down your intentions for the year, you’re giving yourself a tangible guide to serve your process and support your ability to turn your intentions into results. Take the time to write down what you envision for your 2017. What does your personal level-up look like? Write it down in whatever way will most inspire you. It might look like a statement of purpose, a bulleted list, a letter to yourself, or a summary of everything you’ll accomplish. However you choose to write it, just be sure to get clear, concrete, and specific. Then put what you’ve written in a place that you’ll be able to see it all year long. You’ll be amazed at how much power there is in putting your intentions on paper.
  • Focus on being as well as doing. Most of us tend to start the year with resolutions to do things more, less, better, or differently. And there’s a lot to be said for the value of doing that. But there’s a layer beneath the doing that we must address if we want to succeed: the layer of being. You see, the way you approach your intentions, resolutions, and commitments has everything to do with whether or not you’ll complete them. Let’s say, for example, that you set a resolution to “get in better shape” this year. The first step to having this happen will be to get a clear definition of what that means for you. The more concrete the goal, the more likely it is that you’ll accomplish it. So with that in mind, the original resolution becomes something like: “By June 1st, I’ll be able to wear my skinny jeans comfortably, with no love handles showing.” Now that you’ve got something specific to work toward, what’s left is putting forth the effort to have it happen. So here’s where the part about being comes in. If you’re going to make and sustain the efforts necessary to fit in those jeans, you’ll need to be a particular way. For example, you’ll likely need to be disciplined, focused, committed, energetic, consistent, creative, motivated, and self-aware. When you focus on the being underlying the doing, you ramp up your potential to successfully achieve everything you’ve committed to. And chances are, you’ll exceed your expectations and go beyond what you’ve thought possible. So when it comes time to plot your 2017 level-up, ask yourself, “How will I need to be in order to successfully do what I say I’ll do?” Then go have it happen!
  • Decide what will support you, and put it in place now. Using everything you learned last year as your guide, give some thought to what will help bolster your 2017 level-up. Who are the people you can count on to hold you accountable? What habits, routines, or resources set you up for success? Based on what worked and didn’t work last year, what do you think you can put in place now to make sure you have it all happen this year? Perhaps you’ll consider keeping a journal or using apps like Strides or LifeTick to track your progress and keep you organized. Therapy or coaching are also excellent means of keeping you on track. Whatever you decide, putting your supports in place now will help you win this year.
  • Start with the end in sight. One of the tricks to goalsetting is starting at the finish line. What this means is getting crystal clear about where you’re going in order to have a sense of how to get there. When you travel, you must first decide on a destination in order to know where to book your flight to, what to plan for, and what to pack. Similarly, you’ve got to know what the outcome of your goals will be so you know just what to do to make them happen. As you plan your 2017 level-up, take some time to envision what you want your life to look like on December 31st. Get as specific as possible, and don’t be afraid to dream big! Knowing what you want the end of this year to look like will help shape the journey from the start. You deserve to have it all, and you can! So let your vision be your guide, and plot the course for a stellar year.

Let this be the year you take your life to the next level. Let it be the year of saying yes to you and no to everything that doesn’t serve you. Take 2017 by storm, and show the world your best self. As always, I’m here to support you, guide you, and keep you company on your journey. Cheers to you, your best year, and your best life!