Any mother can attest to the fact that their child’s development—especially in the early months and years—is of paramount importance. Rare is the day that goes by without focusing on milestones, looking for subtle changes, or marveling over new skills unlocked. For a child, the developmental process is monumental. For a mother, it’s extremely important, too.
Motherhood, like childhood, is a process of becoming. Moment by moment, day by day, mothers are shaped by the experience of raising a child. As they move through the steep learning curve of parenting, they evolve and expand into their new identity. This happens automatically, as a natural function of adapting to the new role and taking on the ever-changing responsibilities of parenting. But there’s a different, more deliberate way to move through this process that’s on offer for those who choose to approach it this way. This is the path of the conscious mother.
Being a conscious mother means approaching motherhood with intentionality and deliberateness. It means bringing a mindful presence to the process of parenting, aiming to be congruent in your intentions, words, and actions when engaging with your children. Most importantly, it means navigating your role as mother with as much awareness as possible, attuning to your children as you remain attuned to yourself.
What Conscious Motherhood Can Offer the Child
One of the cornerstones of conscious motherhood is presence. It’s about aiming to be fully engaged and attentive during conversations, moments of play, and times of discipline and redirection. The conscious mother aspires to bring mindful attention and awareness into each interaction, fostering a deeper connection between mother and child. Understanding the importance of their children’s emotional world, conscious mothers strive to be validating, accepting, consistent, compassionate, and responsive with their children. In this way, they provide a foundation for their children that serves as a source of emotional safety and security. The hope is that by internalizing this experience of safety, the child will develop qualities such as stability, resilience, attachment security, emotional intelligence, and self-confidence.
What Conscious Motherhood Can Offer the Mother
The benefits of this parenting style aren’t only for the child; the mother is also positively shaped by the experience of conscious motherhood. By making intentional and values-aligned parenting choices, the conscious mother can experience a stabilizing sense of congruence. Most importantly, the experience of parenting with conscious awareness offers an opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of inner experiences such as reactive patterns, unhealed wounds, internalized beliefs and expectations about parenting, fears and anxieties, and projections. Choosing to be cognizant of their inner world and its influence on the way they parent, conscious mothers get to grow through the process of nurturing their children. They add emotional and even spiritual depth to the process of parenting, which positively influences them, their children, and their relationships. Engaging in conscious mothering can contribute to improved overall well-being for mothers, promoting a sense of fulfillment and purpose in the parenting role that can lead to greater satisfaction and happiness.
Given the already challenging nature of parenting in our hectic and high-paced world, the prospect of developing a conscious approach can seem daunting. But those who wish to venture on this path can start with small and simple practices, like the ones below.
Five Simple Ways to Start Practicing Conscious Mothering
- Use interactions with your child as a mindfulness practice.
- Work with a therapist to bring conscious awareness into your experience of mothering.
- Keep a journal that you write in daily or multiple times per week, using it to check in with yourself and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and observations—pertaining to the process of parenting, and in general.
- Take time to reflect on your parenting choices and identify the personal values or beliefs that guide them.
- Thoughtfully embody and model the behaviors and ways of being you wish for your child to adopt.
